Gatsby Returns and Other Stories
David van Wert’s book Gatsby Returns is best described as stack of papers bound into a sheaf. It measures roughly eight and a half by five and a half inches on the cover surface. The interior pages contain many different stories, essays, & poems. It is a handy book to keep in the bathroom, and not just because many of the stories are short enough to be read during the average crap session. This book can also be useful for smacking any spiders that may have crawled into your tub, for example.
It has been said that given an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters, one could eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Our budget, however, only allowed us one rented monkey with a crayon and a paper sack, so this was the best we could do. We had to have the monkey back by noon or we’d have lost our deposit. Surely you understand.
A Brief Excerpt
from the title story…
When I was young, my father gave me a piece of advice that I didn’t bother to remember. He said, "Son, mark my words: a day of unholy retribution is coming when the Earth shall spit forth the dead to prey upon the living!"
Father was a drinker.
I always accepted his wild-eyed pronouncements with a grain of salt if I bothered listening at all. Whenever he’d spout "Never waste your vote on the goddamn Whigs!" or "The caterpillars are crawling around inside me again!" I’d simply try to humor him, refill his glass, and go on about my business. But my father’s words returned to me one fateful night many years later when I suddenly found myself standing face to decomposing face with my dear friend, the late Jay Gatsby.
I Want One!
Would you like to buy this book? Gee, I hope so! For $16.50 (which includes shipping) a copy can be sent anywhere in the continental United States. This edition has the cover illustration shown above. Payment by check or money order only. Click here to receive ordering info via e-mail.
Readers who prefer to use a credit card may purchase on-line from:
These editions have the cover shown to the right. Or simply visit the ordering desk of your favorite local bookseller and demand they procure you a copy at once! Trust me, I’ll be glad you did!