Pity poor William of Orange
whose penis got caught in a door hinge.
For hours doctors slaved,
but it couldn’t be saved.
Now instead of an eight, it’s a four inch.

While sipping a nice cup of herbal
tea, Angus sat on a gerbil.
The kilt that he wore
didn’t guard his back door,
and his face turned an odd shade of purple.

An unhappy goldfish named Wilbur
was depressed cuz he wished he were silver.
The gloomy fish tried
to drink cyanide
but drank Rogaine, and wound up with gill fur.

© David van Wert