Category Archives: Status

Decorating the Tree

This year, I’m just draping the tree with Mardi Gras beads. Because let’s face it, that tree is still going to be up when Mardi Gras rolls around. Laissez les bon Noelle rouler!

Posted by David van Wert on in Status Leave a comment

Happy May Day!

Happy May Day (or International Workers’ Day), my fellow workers of the world! On this day, we celebrate the solidarity of the working class, as we labor to make this world a better… wait a sec… I’m off today! Screw … Continue reading >>

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 16 Comments

Donald Sterling Sucks

Okay, so we figured out (or Donald Sterling taught us) how to get old, white racists banned from basketball… so how do we also get them banned from government? Ideas? Thoughts?

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 28 Comments

Congrats, Stephen F. Austin!

Congrats to my undergrad school, Stephen F. Austin, for making the NCAA tournament as a 12th seed this year! You could be the next VCU—they went to the Final Four in 2011! All you gotta do is… beat VCU in … Continue reading >>

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 30 Comments

Sitcom Pitch

Separated at birth, two brothers follow different paths. One becomes a stand-up comedian, the other an astrophysicist. When they finally meet as adults and decide to become roommates, hilarity ensues! Sinbad & Neil Degrasse Tyson in “It Ain’t Rocket Science! … Continue reading >>

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 34 Comments

True Detective Spoilers!

Warning: Spoilers! Whoa! Can’t believe the ending to True Detective! Walter White beheads Ned Starck who, it turns out, killed Laura Palmer– his own daughter! And then Diane leaves Frasier at the altar, and Frasier becomes a radio host in … Continue reading >>

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 13 Comments

Sochi Olympics Opening Ceremony

And with the flinging of the Olympic torch onto an enormous pile of kerosene soaked tires, the XXII Olympic Winter Games in Sochi have officially begun!

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 18 Comments

Richard Sherman

Richard Sherman out-douchebagged every athlete ever tonight! I have never seen a less gracious display after a game. And coming from the winner too… wow, Richard Sherman. Wow. (disclaimer: “Douchebaggery” only involves non-criminal “being a jerk” stuff. I’m sure he … Continue reading >>

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 11 Comments

Happy New Year!

In this glorious New Year, as we all look optimistically toward the future and all the promise it holds, does it really matter where my pants are, Officer?

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 32 Comments

Gilligan’s Island

If they’re gonna do a movie re-make of Gilligan’s Island, I hope Christopher Nolan is directing and it’s like his Batman compared to 60s TV Batman. I want a full-out “Lord of the Flies” with adults.

Posted by David van Wert on in Status 34 Comments