davidvanwert.com

Congratulations to Stephen Saux and Lori Murphy Saux who recently welcomed Sophia Adele into the world!

This beautiful occasion reminded me of a sketch of mine those two terrific actors performed with me back in February of 2004. So I dug up the tape of our momentous performance of “Maternity Specialist, Episode 2″ in front of about 12 people on a heinously rainy night in Santa Monica at the Comedy Underground — and here it is!

Sophie (if I may call you “Sophie”), this one’s for you.

Performed by Stephen, Lori, & me way back in the yesteryears…

requires QuickTime

I can’t wait to meet you, Sophia!

My great-great-grandfather was one of the most feared gunslingers in the Old West.

Not feared by other gunslingers so much, but innocent bystanders would run for cover whenever “Blind Johnny” van Wert came to town.

My great-great-uncle “Cross-Eyed Billy” van Wert was also greatly feared.

In 1882, a family squabble forced the two of them to face-off in the town of Doomsdale, TX. Fifteen people were killed (and twenty-two severely wounded) before they ran out of bullets. Afterwards, Johnny and Billy sat down for some pie and worked out their differences.

It was a great day for peace in the Old West.

I’ve really been putting off going to the dentist. I’m WAY overdue for my check up, but I don’t like going to the dentist anyway so it’s really easy to put off. I know it shouldn’t be that big a deal, but when I was in college a very good friend of mine died in the dentist’s chair, and ever since then I’ve been a bit skittish.

To be fair, it wasn’t the dentist’s fault. He walked out of the room and my friend leaned over to the big nitrous tank, put his mouth straight on the nozzle, cranked it up, and froze solid. Then he toppled over and broke into a million little pieces. So that’s why I don’t like going to the dentist.

I just know that’s going to happen to me one day.