davidvanwert.com

After infuriating Muslims the world over with a controversial speech delivered last Tuesday, Pope Benedict has made the conciliatory move of also bashing the Jews.

Yeah, that oughta fix things. Nice work, Ben.

Now, I’m no Pontiff myself and know little of Popery, but I think if I’d just made the major gaffe of slamming a major religion (by quoting a 14th century Emperor: “show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman”), then I’d be majorly careful about what I quoted for a while. And I really don’t think I’d use a quote that the crucifixion was “a scandal for the Jews” in a speech right now. If I were Pope, I’d just take off my enormous hat and lay low.

And if I were a Papal advisor, I’d find some tactful way of informing His Holiness that saying you’re “sorry for the Muslim reaction” does not actually count as an apology. I mean, really, come on… That’s like back when I was a kid, and I called my sister stupid, then she complained to Mom, and Mom said I had to apologize to her, so I said “I’m sorry you’re stupid.” I was not the head of a world religion at the time of my non-apology, and the Pope was not ten at the time of his. Also, the Pope was not sent to his room for his non-apology, unlike me. But other than that, it’s a fair comparison.

I’m not Catholic so maybe my opinion doesn’t count here, but that last Pope seemed a lot nicer and cooler than this new Nazi Pope.

I apologize in advance if that opinion is offensive to Nazis.