davidvanwert.com

Our Leader

In a little talk last month in New Hampshire, President Bush was patting himself on the back for his accomplishments over the past year. He said his education legislation marked “the biggest increase in education spending in a long, long time.”

In reality, Bush’s increase (15.8%) was smaller than the increase (18.6%) under Clinton’s budget the previous year. If you convert the percentage increase to a flat dollar amount, Clinton’s increase was bigger by about 10 cents per dollar, which adds up pretty substantially. And Bush had actually wanted a much smaller increase than Congress approved.

So how does he claim “the biggest increase in education spending in a long, long time” when it wasn’t as big as the one we got last fiscal year? I mean, we can only get, at most, one a year anyhow. It’s the equivalent of saying “This is the best Thanksgiving we’ve had all year,” and not meaning it as a joke.

Someone should explain to Bush that when comparing yearly budget increases, one year does not count as a “long, long time.” It is, in fact, the shortest block of time measured. I know a year can seem like a long time (will it ever be Christmas again?), but in annual budget terms, it just ain’t.

Most of our past presidents have been able to look at a couple of three digit numbers and quickly determine which is the larger — just by looking, with no help. It’s not unreasonable to expect that level of math proficiency from the current fellow.

Based on the fact that he bankrupted every company he ever had a hand in running, I’m guessing Bush isn’t that great with numbers. But if information can be presented to him in an engaging way that incorporates an element of play, the President will be having so much fun, he won’t even realize he’s learning!

Alan Greenspan

I remember back when I was 4, Grover the muppet explained the difference between “near” and “far” in a simple, visual way that was easy to grasp. To this day, I still know the difference. We need something like that for President Bush for “bigger” and “smaller” numbers.

Once he’s got that down, we can move to some language skills. Maybe try to increase his unscripted vocabulary beyond the average for twelve year olds.

I realize that’s a lot to accomplish in just two years, and perhaps I’m being overly optimistic. But we owe it to America to try. No child left behind!

Inspired by a recent commercial explaining to kids that if you smoke pot you might as well join Al-Qaeda.

Powell with son of the powerful & well-placed

As our President calls for war on Iraq, I’m reminded of something his Secretary of State once wrote:
“I am angry that so many of the sons of the powerful and well-placed… managed to wangle slots in Reserve and National Guard units…Of the many tragedies of Vietnam, this raw class discrimination strikes me as the most damaging to the ideal that all Americans are created equal and owe equal allegiance to their country.”
–Colin Powell, My American Journey (1995), pg. 148

I wonder how Powell feels today, now that he works for a guy that not only dodged Vietnam, but even managed to dodge a major portion of Guard service too, being effectively AWOL for a year and a half, then getting an early release to boot. It really sucks to work for someone you don’t respect.

Did Colin Powell spend the years between 1995 and 2000 working on his anger issues against sons of powerful, well-placed men? Has he somehow made peace with it all, so he’s able to face Bush without feeling dirty? Or does Powell feel like a hypocrite? Does he quietly seethe to hear Bush spouting macho bullshit like “Let’s roll!” while posing on military bases? Did a tear roll down his cheek as he carefully peeled the “No Draft Dodgers in the White House” bumper sticker off the back of his SUV?

NBC journalist Paul Begala checked the Nexis database. “There were 13,641 stories about Bill Clinton ‘dodging the draft’ and there were 49 stories about Bush and the National Guard,” Begala said. To which I say, “Liberal media bias, my ass.”

With that unbeFuckinglievable disparity in media coverage, it’s possible Colin Powell doesn’t even know his commander-in-chief is as yellow as a Texas rose. He may not have heard.

So just in case Colin Powell isn’t aware of the sitch, here’s a quick summary:

Back when Powell wrote the aforementioned passage, evil draft-dodging Clinton was President. Unlike our current President, Clinton was actually not the son of “powerful and well-placed” people. He had to impress other folks with his intellect and accomplishments (like the Rhodes scholar thing) and pretend he wanted to join the ROTC to get a deferment, though he was involved in protests at the time. Ultimately, he entered the draft lottery but was not called.

Bush claims he never discussed Vietnam one way or the other while he was in college. However, when he was 12 days from the expiration of his student deferment and eligible to be drafted into active service, powerful friends intervened to ensure he would not go to Vietnam. I guess Bush figured Vietnam was a okay idea as long as he didn’t have to break a sweat.

Despite a waiting list of about a year and a half (over 100,000 people) Bush was accepted into the Guard the same day he applied. On his application, Bush checked the box which read, “Do not volunteer for overseas service.” Luckily for him, the form was not designed by the Florida Election Commission.

Within weeks of joining the guard, he was able to gain lengthy leaves of absence to work on political campaigns. He was admitted to flight training despite having the lowest possible qualifying score on the pilot aptitude test. Bush was commissioned a second lieutenant without attending officer training programs or serving the mandantory tour of active duty. This “direct appointment” exemption was exclusively reserved for flight surgeons or other critically needed personnel with outstanding credentials. And Bush.

But once the Guard announced that physical exams for pilots would include drug testing, Bush never flew again. One month after the announcement of the new policy, he ceased attending training and was then suspended from flying for his failure to take the physical.

Bush’s campaign aides have said he did not take the physical because he was in Alabama and his personal physician was in Houston. This is a nonsense excuse, because flight physicals can be administered only by certified Air Force flight surgeons, and some were assigned at the time to Maxwell Air Force Base in Montgomery, where Bush was living.

Bush has also said he stopped flying because he moved to Alabama in May 1972 to work on a US Senate campaign for several months, and that he performed alternative duty with an Alabama Guard unit. But there are no records that Bush ever did such duty. And in May 1973, a half year after Bush returned from Alabama, Bush’s two commanders in Houston said he had not been seen at his unit in 12 months.

Despite the hundreds of thousands of dollars that our government spent to train him as a pilot, Bush was allowed to leave the Guard several months before his committment ended. I’m sure they didn’t miss him though, since he hadn’t really been around much anyhow.

So that’s the story. I don’t personally have a problem with draft-dodging per se, but Colin Powell does, or did, and now he works for a fella who did it, and I’m a fan of irony, so there you go.